The Wedding Toast, A Groom’s Guide

Weddings are much, much more than just walking down the aisle and saying “I do.” The groom’s responsibilities at the wedding are not over after the vows. There is one more wedding tradition that all grooms must endure, the wedding toast. Wedding toast can be tough for grooms that finding public speaking difficult, but there are tips toward creating a great wedding toast. It always helps to display some originality and humor as well as a sense of romance. These three speech elements are, in fact, critical to the overall success of a groom’s wedding toast.

In general a groom’s toast should focus on thanking family and friends, and of course, letting everyone know how much he loves his new wife. Traditionally, the groom’s speech comes after the father of the bride’s speech. This, of course, means that a great groom’s wedding toast will affirm all the wonderful remarks made by your father-in-law moments earlier. If your father-in-law didn’t have anything good to say about you, well that is a different problem altogether.

Above all else, remember to thank people for being at your wedding. If you do this, you truly have won much of the battle. Your groom’s speech needs to focus on thanking all of those people who helped make your wedding possible. It’s a good idea to write down who those people are as it will help you write your speech. Once you have written down who helped make your wedding possible look and see if there are any funny or heart-warming short stories about those individuals and their contribution to your wedding. Find those stories and you have a big chunk of your speech. Now, just keep in mind that a good groom’s speech should probably not exceed five minutes. Why only five minutes? Because there will be many other speeches at your wedding as well.

One of the key goals you should have in writing your speech is to not leave anyone out. Weddings can be political affairs and forgetting to thank a key person can come back to haunt you.

The Parents. Early in your speech it is essential that you thank your bride’s parents. This is most certainly the case if they have paid for the wedding. Make sure that you thank them for their support and for accepting you as a part of their family. Even you if hate them and the feeling is mutual, make sure that you acknowledge them early in the speech.

All of Your Guest. Sometimes guests have to travel a considerable distance to be at your wedding. Make sure you acknowledge guests who have traveled to join you on this special day. Another obvious reason to thank your guests is that, hopefully, they have given you some pretty nice gifts.

Thank Those Who Made Special Contributions. With all the commotion and occasional chaos that is a wedding, it is often easy to forget to thank all sorts of guests. Try and not forget anyone who lent an extra hand to make sure your wedding was a well-planned and fun event for all involved. This group often includes wedding planners, bridesmaids and groomsmen. More than likely some of these contributions would make great stories in your speech.

The Bride. If you forget to thank your bride, you are in a lot of trouble. Obviously thanking your bride should be a “no-brainer.” Feel free to express your love of her and tell her how beautiful she is on her wedding day. Make sure that you look into her eyes when addressing her, and end the toast with her.

General Tips:

-Absolutely thank everyone!

-Keep a cheat sheet on hand and don’t be afraid to look at it.

-It’s a great idea to make a “cheat sheet” of your speech and keep it handy.

-Write your speech at least a week in advance and practice it out loud!

Milton Kelly lives in Virginia where he writes from his home office on topics important to the modern man such as wedding toasts, grooming and groomsmen gifts.