“As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don’t. ” Carrie Fisher

“As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer. ” Robert Quillen

“Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere. ” George Burns

“When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” Sacha Guitry

Have a look through some famous quotes about life.

“Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.” Groucho Marx

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” Rodney Dangerfield

“The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much.” Colin Chapman

“A woman voting for divorce is like a turkey voting for Christmas.” Alice Glynn

Or what about these quotes about life.

“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” Henry Youngman

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” Joe E. Lewis

“I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.” Fred Allen

“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.” Hillary Clinton

“My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference.” Harry S. Truman

“The mistake a lot of politicians make is in forgetting they’ve been appointed and thinking they’ve been anointed.” Claude D. Pepper

“The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’, and the word ‘ticks’, meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’.” Larry Hardiman

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“I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.” Woody Allen

“My parents used to take me to Lewis’ department store in Glasgow. They were skinflints, they used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was the zoo.” Billy Connolly

“All that I desire to point out is the general principle that life imitates art far more than art imitates life. ” Oscar Wilde

“The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’ but ‘That’s funny…’ ” Isaac Asimov

“The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.” Albert Einstein

How about taking a look at these funny quotes about life.

“My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.” Abraham Lincoln

“You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” George Burns

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all art and science. ” Albert Einstein

“I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint…a Saint Bernard!” Rodney Dangerfield

“I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived.”– (Horse Feathers, 1932) Groucho Marx

You should take a look at these quotes about life.

“When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.” WC Fields

“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. ” Rita Rudner

“If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that! ” Milton Jones

“In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. ” Margaret Thatcher

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